Gracie Vs Adam
by missindegrassi
Summary: To everyone, Gracie Torres seems like a typical 12 year old girl. But that is not how Adam sees himself. He never has and never will. Gracie is changing. A story about Adam before he goes to Degrassi *MAY TRIGGER!*
1. Chapter 1

Gracie VS Adam

Adam didn't know what to do. He stared at himself in the mirror, hating what he saw. He traced his body with a finger, silently willing this to be all a dream and would wake up with the body he always wanted. A male body. "I am a boy!" Adam slammed his fist into the mirror, the glass shattering onto the porcelain tiles. A tear slid from his eye and he wiped it away. He had been hiding all his life, behind this façade of Gracie. Everyone he knew saw him as a typical 12 year old girl. But Adam always knew something was wrong. Ever since he could form thought, he knew. He always felt different. But no more. Everyone would know soon. Adam couldn't live this lie anymore.

"Gracie!" a voice called from outside the door. It was his brother Drew. "Sis, are you okay in there?"

"Great" Adam thought. "What am I supposed to say?" He ran a quick hand through his brown hair, hating how it fell to his shoulders.

"I'm fine Drew!" Adam called.

"What was that crash, Gracie?" Drew knocked loudly on the door, "Please let me in!"

"No!" Adam yelled, hating how high his voice sounded. Drew continuing yelling and knocking at the door, but Adam wasn't even listening to him anymore. Adam's eyes had fallen on a long sharp piece of glass on the ground next to him. Without thinking, Adam picked it up and ran it across his wrist…..


	2. Chapter 2

Adam could see the light. He could almost touch it. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The light was coming closer. And closer. He stretched out his fingers….."Just a little bit more" he muttered under his breath. Then suddenly the light was gone. He awoke to find himself dressed in a hospital gown, his mother and brother standing next to him. His mother had been crying.

"Welcome back" whispered Drew, his eyes full of tears; he leant down to hug his sister.

"What happened?" asked Adam, returning the hug.

"We thought we lost you Gracie" his mother also leant down to hug him. Gracie. That name hung in the air like a bad smell. Adam sighed. His memories came rushing back. He could remember smashing the mirror, yelling at Drew to go away, but everything else was a blur of noise. Adam could vaugley remember blood and a siren, but that was it. Then he looked down at his wrists, seeing they were both bandaged heavily. And he knew. Knew that he would do it again. And again. Unless he was a boy.

His mother ran her fingers along his left wrist. "Gracie, why would you do this to yourself?" Adam stiffened at his mother's touch, feeling terrible. He hadn't even thought of his mother, let alone Drew. How this could affect them as a family. He sighed and tears streamed down his face. How could he tell his own mother that he wanted to be a male? How? Adam choked back a sob. "Mom…I…" his voice trailed off. Drew grabbed his sisters hand. "It's ok Gracie, everything is going to be ok".

"No Drew!" he jerked his hand away and curled up. "You don't understand,everything is NOT going to be okay"

"But Gracie…" his eyes burrowed in confusion. "I don't understand".

"I'm not Gracie!" he yelled. Shocked at how loud he yelled , the tears began to fall.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm not Gracie!" he yelled it again n as the tears continued to flow... His mother's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?" she said. "I am not a girl Mom, I am not!" As Adam said this, he felt a huge wave of relief come over himself. His mother began to blink tears back. "But….Gracie…how….why?" she stuttered. Then the tears fell from her eyes, hard and fast. Drew went over to her and held her, letting her cry into his shirt. Drew glared at Adam, who was still crying quietly. "Gracie, look at what you've done!" he yelled. He pulled himself away from his mother and stood over Adam. "Look what you've done to our mother".

"I didn't want this Drew" said Adam, looking at his mother who had stopped crying and had turned to Drew. "Let's go Drew, Gracie needs her rest". Refusing to look at Adam, she walked out the door. Drew turned backed to Adam. "I don't understand" "Neither do I Andrew, I'm sorry" "But…But…" his voice trailed off. "You're my little sister…." Adam shook his head. "No Drew, I can't do it anymore, pretend to be someone that I'm not. I am a male" Drew sighed and blinked back the tears that came to his eyes. "I think I kind of knew you were different Gracie" he said with a sad smile. Adam nodded. "I knew I was different ever since I could string thoughts into words" Drew nodded. "I don't understand Gracie, but I am here for you" Drew reached for Adam as he began to cry again. "Mom will come through for you, you know." Adam could see their mother waiting for Drew outside the hospital room. "I hope so" Adam said through his tears. Drew gave a quick squeeze on the shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow" Then he was gone

. Adam wiped his eyes with his sleeves. Now that his secret was out, he didn't know what to expect. Only that thing with his family will never be the same.


	4. Chapter 4

Adam had been out of hospital for a week. Already things were different. Drew still couldn't understand why his sister wanted to become male and his mother (Audra) wouldn't look him in the eye when talking to him. She was still loving and caring but Adam could sense that she was afraid. Afraid of her own son. Adam didn't want to lose his mother, but didn't want to remain female. He sighed and ran a hand through his now short hair. At least his mother had agreed to a haircut. He figured that was a battle in its own. He looked down at his wrists where the scars were still visible. He would have to keep them covered. At least it was summer vacation; he didn't fancy having to hide them from his classmates.

A few of his "friends" had sent cards while he was in the hospital. They were perched along his dresser, a frenzy of crayoned pictures and love hearts. They all said similar things. "Gracie, we love you!" "Get well soon Gracie" "Miss you Gracie" Gracie, Gracie GRACIE!. "No!" yelled Adam and swept the cards of his dresser. He then continued to throw other items off his desk, until it was empty. Just like he felt. The counseler in the hospital had advised against any sort of "descions" until Gracie was 14. But he didn't understand that Adam felt had he was never a girl. To himself, Adam was always a boy. He opened his wardrobe and began to throw all of his "female" clothes onto the floor. As he threw the last blouse ou he noticed his mother standing in his doorway.


End file.
